Thursday, 6 March 2014

My Dog Chilli 1996-2010

I was on the subway the othe day listening to Karen O and the Kids' Hideaway, a great song from the movie "Where the Wild Things Are". I got to thinking about my dog Chilli. You see "Where the Wild Things Are" is the last movie I saw before Chilli left us to join all the other great gone dogs like Arn and Laika.

We name him after Chili Palmer in another movie, "Get Shorty", but I think if Chilli were a person, he would have been the Dalai Lama. He just knew stuff. We got him from Quebec on a summer's day and he pretty much followed us everywhere for 15 years.

I wrote a poem for him and it's a funny one, I'm pretty sure he had a sense of humor. Besides, there is only one person I know who can write a "break your heart" kind of poem about their dog that works, and it's not me.

Funny how it still pains me after all this time.

We have a new dog now. We named him after Ozzy Osbourne. "Nuff said!

My Dog Chili

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

 Jesus wasn’t nailed down for being a milkman, you know!

2. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Churchill knew nothing about dogs.

3. Which living person do you most admire?

If I said you, I would be lying. I like bumper stickers.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Not drinking out of the toilet and not listening to Pink.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Stalin really should have shaved off that mustache.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Alchemy, meningitis and chocolate wafers.

7. What is your favourite journey?


8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Some Germans have been known  to eat squirrels.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

I love you.

10. Who are your favourite writers?

Sometimes paper clips, sometimes Joyce.

11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

George Bush.

12. How would you like to die?

Spaghetti western.

13. What is your motto?

George Clooney can’t lick his balls!

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